Early this morning on the tram as I watched a fellow passenger take one last huge drag off of his cigarette and then exhale a cloud of smoke inside as the doors sealed shut, I began to wonder: where do we learn common courtesy? To me, what he did was incredibly obnoxious and inconsiderate. To him, apparently it was perfectly acceptable (which leads to another question: is he just oblivious or is he an asshole? Because in my mind, those are the only two possible explanations). Why is that? When do humans learn proper behavior? How are they taught? I don't recall my mother specifically teaching me about common courtesy or respect for others, maybe I just learned by observation? Or did we learn it at school? Or maybe it's innate… or not, for some people? I do recall public service announcements on TV when I was a kid but, despite their catchy tunes, I honestly don't know if those had any impact on me or my behavior.
I'm genuinely curious about how, as a society, we can help people be more aware and more considerate of others. Since I've been back in Rome I often find myself observing people's actions- from illegally dumping piles of trash bags by a tree, to leaving a dog shit obstacle course, to parking wherever the hell they want- while wondering: What makes you think that's okay to do?
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7 comments:
so true! I often find myself wondering the same thing. It seems to happen a lot more often in Rome than in other places. I also can't stand when people hog up the already non-existant sidewalks and are surprised when you say excuse me since you need to pass! Or people who leisurely walk on the streets making it impossible to pass them in a car, therefore creating unnecessary traffic. Oh I could go on.....
I’m about to receive a new work colleague from Louisiana. He and his wife are ecstatic about the opportunity to live and work in Rome. Last week I wrote to him; “Brother, it is going to be quite an experience and one you’ll not forget, but check it out; being assigned to Rome is like dating a stripper. The prospect of it sounds pretty exciting and fun. Well…, it probably will be fun for about 30 days until you realize something is a little off. You’ll start to observe him/her carefully and won’t take long before you notice that this is a damaged creature in need of long term therapy for various extreme forms of neurosis and other potential disorders”.
Contemporary Rome is blind to the fact that, with all its irrationality and inefficiency, it is possessed by "powers" that are beyond collective control. Its traditional gods and demons have not disappeared at all; they have merely got new names. They keep Rome on the run with restlessness, vague apprehensions, psychological complications, an insatiable need for confrontation, alcohol, tobacco, food – and, above all, a large array of neuroses.
I’m afraid that if I stay here too long, I’ll begin to like it and turn-in to one of them.
Middle Way- truly brilliant description of Rome!
well - about 40% of that is plagiarized from an actual human diagnosis that I adapted to this city, but to me it's fairly acurate. The part two of it is that Rome, being a stripper, is still facinating as strippers generally are (to my demented mind). I don't know if it's the sexy appeal of disfunctional beauty, or like driving passed a car accident and can't tak my eyes off it. It's a facinating place despite it's vulgarity. I showing it visiting friends!!
Absolutely fascinating- it's what keeps the tourists coming and what keeps us (ex pats) here.
I have been living here since '99 and have encountered this type of behaviour (major indifference- menefreghismo) everywhere in Italy including la "civile" Padania.
I hail from Southern Europe and can say that unfortunately this is a common Mediterranean "trait".
Imho the family-first culture is the problem, people don't care what happens outside their circle.
There's a total disregard for others (evading taxes, corruption, environmental issues etc....)
They keep their apartments spotless but do not think twice about throwing rubbish everywhere, not picking dog droppings, peeing in public areas (even though public lavatories would be close by).
I do love many aspects of Italy, but this behaviour and the general lack of accountability irritates the hell out of me.
CF
CF- I also lived up north in the Veneto area for a while, and noticed that menefreghismo was less rampant there than it is here. Of course it did still exist but in much smaller doses.
I couldn't agree more with your family-first theory! It really does explain why the concept of "community" doesn't have much importance and why people don't step up and try to bring about change for the better of ALL.
Sad but true...
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